Sunday, June 26, 2016

This Sarcasm Just In….

Group of Business Executives Endorse Clinton's Champagne

By Bathhouse John for Vox Populi |  June 23, 2016 at 12 PM (“High Noon”)

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WASHINGTON, June 23 (IPU) → A long list of business leaders announced they are endorsing Crooked Hillary for president, her champagne bottle said Thursday. The list includes more than 50 business executives, including several Republicans who masquerade as Democrats . . . and the author of the ersatz historical comedy, Hamilton, who once surreptitiously called Trump, a “F***face”, the Where’s Waldo Street Journal has miraculously reported. Among them was I.M. Cheeky, senior VP of ATE Some Tea, who served in both the Nixon and Clinton administrations. Cheeky said he has backed every GOP presidential nominee dating back to 1920 (“or something like that”}, but this year endorsed Clinton because he does not believe her opponent, Republican Donald Trump, is fit to lead the country’s leading 1%, The Trilateral Commision, The Clinton Foundation, Bilderberg Group, et al. Though Hillary - the Chicago Machine Political cog - falsely claims to care about immigrants, Jews, Gays, and small town investment bankers, the point for the one percenters is that she and “Let’s Go One More Time Around the Barack” Obama built the Democratic party’s base upon the backs of the working class and the financial needs of the welfare class.

"But this year I think it's vital to put our country's head straight up the ass of the super rich, its ‘special’ trade partners, and large Arab donors to the Clinton Foundation," Cheeky said in a statement provided to the Journal by the Clinton Champagne. He further fantasized, "Hillary Clinton is best experienced at graft, most qualified to steal, and will make a needle fine lackey of the rich.” (Cheeky stressed “off the record” that “Hillary and Wild Bill are definitely both part of the 1%, too”; and that “she’s a bitch!”). Cheeky continued, “The alternative I fear - a grassroots, working man’s candidate (i.e. Donald Trump as president), would set our nation on a very positive and anti-globalist path . . . and THAT would be intolerable.”

Other executives are from a cross-section of the business community, including companies with longstanding household names, such as General Outboard Motor, Boring Aeronautics, Delphi Air Lines, TimeOut Warning Cable and Fondue Pond. The list also includes several tech companies that have risen to prominence in digital age, like the room rental service Arrogance ZnZ, video streaming company Filmfix, digital information storage and transfer company PickUpSticks, the rating site Help and Cyrillic Alphabet, the new parent company of Itchy Itchy Goo. "Trump would destroy much of what is great about America’s 1%," Filmfix CEO and co-founder Read Wastings said in a muddled but reckless verbal assault released by Clinton's champagne. "Hillary Clinton is the strongest leader the 1% needs, and it's important that Trump lose by a landslide to reject whom (the taxpayer) and what (a government of the people and by the people) the voters really want."

More Free Buffet, chairman of Backwater Halfway House and a longtime advocate of liberal causes, not to mention a former alcoholic, is included on the list, as is former NBA star-turned XYZ spokesperson, turned businessman, Magic Mountain, who is part owner of the L.A. sports team best known for their adage, “If you’re not a fan, we’ll beat you to a pulp.” Mittsy Rhymney added, “Blame Capital will contribute to the 1% assault on American citizens and their tax dollars because I just bought another mansion on credit….

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