Sunday, July 17, 2016

My Honest Interview with a Crooked Blood Sucker, Partie Deux (Down and Dirty - The Fleece Connection)

This Sarcastic Note Just In…


My Honest Interview with a Crooked Blood Sucker, Partie Deux (Down and Dirty - The Fleece Connection)


By Bathhouse John for Vox Populi |  July 17, 2016 at 12 PM (“High Noon”)


Since Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper, kind of a fitting name for a groovy gov in the pot state, sent inmate #10261947666, AKA Hillary “Bags Caltrain” Clinton, a “special delivery recently, I was able to have a second “sit down” with a Democratic Party leader, albeit in the slammer, who’s recently been dubbed, “Chairwoman Mao Clinton."


Due to security risks, we were quickly ushered into an open air picnic area near Collins Street and Woodruff Road. We sit on an old picnic table. There is a cluster outside: several guards had called in sick all the while BLM, KKK, Black Panther, Pink Panther and La Raza rallies raged outside the damp, cramped Joliet Correctional Center, Hillary’s “home away from home” (she was moved from the New York facility due to a foiled escape attempt uncovered by a jailhouse snitch - her roommate). Interestingly, the rallies are to be followed by a Picnic of Brotherhood with the invocation by Nation of Islam Leader, Louis Farrakhan.


After partaking in a sample of Hickenlooper’s “special delivery,” and after we both carefully waved away the cleansing smoke from our bodies, Hillary Rodham Clinton and I, a small town reporter, sit across from each other, much more relaxed than the first time we met. Mrs. Clinton is dressed in a bright orange jumpsuit which I say nicely accentuates her blond hair, and especially her slightly yellowing front teeth. Due to my age-induced poor eyesight, and the bright Illinois sun, I can’t read the numbers on her prison suit. But, I already told you the numbers up above.


Again, Clinton looks kind of sexy and alluring - like back in the old Arkansas days when, well, the average voter, due to a corrupt media, had no clue. But, Clinton is in her element now. I, on the other hand, a typical voter seeking the truth, am dressed in my standard fare old tee shirt, worn jeans, and scuffed up running shoes that look like they’re high end cheap outlet but in reality low end name brand. To entice my interviewee, I brought along several packages of vanilla snack cakes - which she begged me for last time we met, stating, “My constituents never knew it but they’re actually my favorite.”, . . . along with my notebook and pens.


The snack cakes lie in a neat little row on her cot and I notice her attention is almost completely focused thereon. I offer Clinton a package. At first “highly’ nervous, Clinton tears open a package, lets her teeth and tongue stumble over the delicacy in her mouth, and I begin the interview. Suddenly, she pauses and says - with that exact look in her eye that she had when she threw a lamp at Big Bill - after the Monica Lewinsky scandal broke - blackening his eye


Hillary
I looked over the questions. If you want the truth, you gotta give ‘em all to me.


Voter
The snack cakes?


Hillary
No, the American electorate.


Voter
Sure, sure.


My thought was, “What the hell?” I could always buy more when I leave. She’s stuck in this hell hole. Besides, Hillary’s about to spill the truth. Think about it: a Clinton telling the truth? That’s like Stephen Colbert telling a funny joke. I quickly acquiesce. Like a winner in a big hand of poker, Hillary throws her hands over the packages of snack cakes and pulls them to her greedy, pudgy self. I imagine for a moment that is the same reaction she has toward campaign donations, or “bribes.” The orange cyclops begins the ritual of devouring the snack cakes.


Hillary
(Mutters to herself)
Damn FBI! . . . Shoot!


Voter
You know, a lot’s been queried about Trump’s latest logo. Yet, yours is actually similar. Can you comment?


Hillary
(Stuffs snack cake into mouth, chews)
My logo was actually designed by my husband. (Chuckles - then chokes)


Voter
Bill?


Hillary
Duh! (Mutters) What a perve.


Voter
I see. Your logo isn’t much different than Trumps although I would say his is more of a traditional sexual innuendo and your arrow has more of a prison flair to it. You know, “Get against the wall, roomie!”





I see that Hillary’s engulfed in the second, or third snack cake and isn’t really listening, so I move on like a brave little soldier of truth…


Voter
Is it true that there was a secret meeting between you, President Obama, several leading Dems and some 1%ers back around 2009 in Chicago - and you discussed a plan to crush the two party system for good?


Hillary
How did you find out?


Voter
Uhh, your husband told me over wine, women and-


Hillary
All right, all right. Enough! He’s still giving me a headache. “Get against the wall, roomie!” is right. Yes, we decided to follow the So Cal Plan: massive freebies mean a reliable constituency. Get the peops the right to vote and the junkies are ours for life. Our massive welfare system? Therein lies the death of the Republican Party and our two party system.


Voter
Expand the welfare system? There’s surely more to the story?


Hillary
That’s right grasshopper. That was part one.


Hillary pauses, removes a toothpick from her bra, and picks away . . . as if her conscience is depending on it. After a few seconds of that, she tosses the toothpick, rips open another package of snack cakes, and devours more of the same.


Hillary
Part two was to grow the immigration base - illegals are the easiest you know. Barack just “opened the door” and “let ‘em in”, so to speak. It’s that easy. Told the American people it was about “truth and justice”, or some crap like that. None of us believe that. Now . . . listen closely: massive illegal immigration - in conjunction with the massive expansion of the welfare state - that’s all we needed to bury our only opponents.


I admit at this point I was a bit incredulous and angry.


Voter
Don’t you, dare I say, crooks feel at all guilty about destroying our economy, the safety and security of our neighborhoods, and the power and prestige of our nation?


Hillary
Is this the only snack cakes you brought me?


Voter
Hillary - answer the question.


Hillary
Politics is power; nothing more. Get with the program young man! Nationalism, pride for one’s country . . . that’s passe, pre-1%er, pre-globalization hogwash. Naturally, the taxpayers and legal residents, oh, I don’t know - maybe 26% of the population - will pay the tab for our nice little scheme. One trillion dollars per year-


Hillary laughs a bit loudly at the point. I realize that in all the times I’ve seen her in the media, this is the happiest I’ve ever seen her.


Hillary
I mean, the 1%ers aren’t going to. The Dems aren’t because so many are on welfare as it is - and I'm surely not going to. Who else is going to have to pay the enormous tab for this So Cal Plan of action? Don’t quote me: F*** the taxpayers! We’re all in this together, right? My family's safe. The Democratic elite are safe. Obama’s daughter’s are going to Ivy League schools on the taxpayer’s dime. Doesn’t get any better than this. No, not in politics - let me tell you.


By now, I realize how duped so many of us have been over the years, not just by the Democrats, but also the Republicans (for standing there in our place and doing nothing) and remind myself of Ben Franklin’s quip at the Constitutional Convention in 1787: “a republic, if you can keep it.” My eyes begin to mist over as I try to maintain my composure. Hillary, as always the skilled politician, senses the weakness of this typical voter and moves in for the kill.


Hillary
Come now. In life, little naive voter, there's always a group in history that's thrown under the bus, ground to powder, shuffled into the guillotine. And that just happens to be the American taxpayer, er the middle class. It's time to lie down and die. Next question!


As Hillary consumes the last vanilla snack cake, she eyes me with an abnormal amount of attention. I feel like her eyes can see right through me.


Voter
What about the U.S. Dollar . . . I mean, one trillion dollars in deficit spending per year and-


Hillary
F*** the deficit! It’s too late to fix it anyways. During Bill’s reign, the U.S. Treasury, a bunch of key Democrats, a bunch of 1%ers and a couple of traitorous Republicans got together and decided way back when to let the dollar die a quick and miserable death in order to usher in globalization and subsequent UN rule. I mean, how else would globalization happen? Geez!


I was stunned, saddened, angry. Naturally, if Hillary went to jail, she’d have nothing to lose in finally telling the truth. President Trump, of course, would not pardon her. Barack Obama could not pardon her on his overdue exit because he would not want to commit a faux pas like Gerald Ford. Better to leave sleeping dogs lie if you’re trying to salvage your slipshod reputation. Orange is the new black. But alas, as Hillary Clinton indicates in this fictitious, although loosely fact-based interview, money and power protects the most crooked of our politicians, including her . . . or? I’ll let history and the people decide Tuesday, November 8, 2016.


© 2016 Vox Populi. All laughs and tears reserved on content crafted anew. Whether you love or hate what I say, please share it with a friend or enemy. The 2016 Election is personal and I support Donald J. Trump. Our kids and grandkids cannot afford the alternative, Chairwoman Clinton and the Democratic Communist Party of America. (jvhoffmannjr.blogspot.com)

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