Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Rapper's Delight: Lin-Manuel Miranda vs. Bathhouse John in a Sound Stage Yarn

This Sarcasm Just In...

Rapper's Delight: Lin-Manuel Miranda vs. Bathhouse John in a Sound Stage Yarn

By Bathhouse John for Vox Populi | November 29, 2016 at 12 PM (“High Noon”)

Somewhere in a land far, far away from sanity, two giants of the political arena duke it out in a rap battle of historic proportions. (Psst: a sound stage somewhere in the Tribeca “hood” of New York City.)


Illegal Immigration

MIRANDA
If I've told you once-
I've told you thrice,
My peops need a place,
In this space...to congregate,
Ain’t nothing back home,
From whence they came,
No food, jobs, safety, electric hums,
Dee Yanquis sure got it made!

BATHHOUSE JOHN
If I've told you once-
I've told you thrice,
My peops need a place,
To raise their families and be safe.
We know you shain’t go home,
From whence you roam,
No food, jobs, safety, electric hums,
Ain’t that your country's conundrum?


The Wall

BATHHOUSE JOHN
Yo, Miranda!

MIRANDA
What up, G?

BATHHOUSE JOHN
What's the big deal, this great wall, to someday see?

MIRANDA
Never, never, never, over my dead body-

BATHHOUSE JOHN
Don't be so sedate when truth will but comply-

MIRANDA
Me, oh, my! A wall's an offense to me - worse than an STD.

BATHHOUSE JOHN
“I see!” said Mr. Blind, caught without a way to slither in, not even on a creeping vine.

MIRANDA
No, no, that's OK, Mr. BJ!
A wall's “no bueno” to me and my company,
Now I suggest you take your bricks au lay,
And shove them where even the devil won’t play.

BATHHOUSE JOHN
Contraire savoir-faire . . . the inverse plays better,
Murderers, rapists, even drug running thug clutter,
May take a lesson from their own history - remember?
Pancho Villa wouldn’t put up with this and neither will us either.

A Tag Team unfolds. In jumps George “Globalist Goober” Soros  to back up his homie, Lin-Manuel Miranda.

SOROS
Meine Gute, slave labor's the game - a wall?
A huge impediment to Wall Street and profits insane,
This is a story even The King of horror cannot draft,
Look out America, you’re gonna see your dollar fall flat.

In jumps Angela “The Hunny” Merkel  to back up her homie, Bathhouse John.

MERKEL
Gather ‘round kids and let me sing,
Boy, oh, boy, have I seen such a thing,
Europe's illegal immigrants have caused such a clatter,
I decided to deport quite a few hundred thousand on a silver platter.

MIRANDA hugs and kisses Soros on the lips.

BATHHOUSE JOHN hugs but refuses to kiss MERKEL (who’s OK with it); they shake hands.


Obamacare

MIRANDA
Oh, my, kiss the man on the lips,
Obama, Obama, believe me I tried,
What a hunk-

BATHHOUSE JOHN
Yo, Miranda - stick to the point of this row!
Your dope don’t even rhyme-

MIRANDA
Sure, sure, my domineering fiend,
I'll properly oar the row,
The Alt Right wants to shut down BO's greatest show
On earth - HIS freebies to his peops are now blowin' in the wind.
And burnin' deep in the fires of economic sin.


Welfare

BATHHOUSE JOHN
Willing welfare lifers, most lazy, full o' excuses,
Of why they just take and take and take,
Leavin' the working taxpayers to eat the crappiest of crape,
Left over by the Dems Wizard of Oz - a trivial Dr. Seuss!

MIRANDA
Whoa, there, Flo, this ain’t no commercial!
Stop stereotypin' the peops who just take from shills!
Too stupid to stand up and shout, "No, more - I'm no dill!"
Get your own damn healthcare and leave my shekels, my own wallet to fill.


WDC - The Swamp

MIRANDA
That swamp is my pool,
Swimming ‘round and playin' the fool.
Alligators, snakes all are my best friends,
Most of all Soros with another trick just 'round the bend.
(Break Dances)

BATHHOUSE JOHN
G - Don’t you think I know, fool!
Playin' like doobied up kids, snackin' till you drool?
The Demi insiders captain the ship of greed,
Low ridin' along like Catherine the Great with her favorite steed.
(Disco dances)

Radical Islamic Terrorist

BATHHOUSE JOHN
Radical Islamic Terrorists - so I said the words?
What's up with Obama who won't utter the scourge?
Is he a phony, nothin’ but two pieces of baloney?
Another crooked Chicago pol - someone's Alt Left cronie?
"Allahu Akbar!" amidst death sounds awful - nay stuffy?

MIRANDA
Hey, fool, don’t mess with my downtown homies!
I'm tired of hearing the same 'ol, same ‘ol blow mes.
What gives dog, if they wear a hijab and a berka for ease?
As long as they salute the flag and yell beforehand, it don’t bother me.
"Allahu Akbar!" amidst death sounds awful tough, see?


No rappers were intended to be offended.

Unless you’re a Willing Welfare Lifer, 1%er, or just plain stupid, don’t be fooled by the Democratic Nazi Party of America, or their presidential selection, Barack Obama. The globalists are running scared. Yeah, well, Donald J. Trump is no angel but his worst traits are saintly compared to the DNPA’s best. If you don’t take that to the bank, the DNPA will take you to the cleaners - and along for a Chicago-style “one way ride.”

© 2016 Vox Populi. All laughs reserved on content crafted anew. Whether you like or hate what you read, feel free to share this with your friends and enemies. The 2016 Election is personal and as an Indie Voter . . . I support President-Elect Donald J. Trump. (jvhoffmannjr.blogspot.com)



No comments:

Post a Comment