Thursday, December 22, 2016

THE "GRIPPING CONCLUSION" TO... A Christmas Teleplay: President-Elect Trump’s Coming to America (Parti Troi)

This Sarcasm Just In...


THE "GRIPPING CONCLUSION" TO... A Christmas Teleplay: President-Elect Trump’s Coming to America (Parti Troi)


By Bathhouse John for Vox Populi | December 21, 2016 at 12 PM (“High Noon”)


Based upon the greatest kid’s Christmas special ever made (outside of The Little Drummer Boy), Santa Claus is Coming to Town, Rankin Bass, 1970 (See: A True Christmas Classic) which I still admire today as I watch it with my children annually.


Narrator
(Sean Hannity)


Donald J. Trump
(As Himself)


Monster
(Michael Moore)


Pro-Trump Voter
(Masked Teacher)
Unemployed Americans
(Sober Town Residents)
Bilderbergs-Bergsbilder
(George Soros)


Grimey
(Hillary Clinton)


The Elves
(Employed Americans)


Republican Elves
(Pence, Sessions, Flake, Ryan, Priebus)
Tante Conway
(Kellyanne Conway)


Screenplay by Bathhouse John


Produced and directed by Bathhouse John for Vox Populi


INT. RNC HEADQUARTERS - DAY


TRUMP sits at his computer checking his email…


TRUMP
My God! Look at all the requests for good paying jobs with benefits - it’s in the tens of millions . . . and that’s excluding the Golden Fleece State of California with one third of the nation’s welfare recipients. But how will I get the job postings to the unemployed Americans if the globalists and their pawn, the Democratic Nazi Party of America, thwart my every move? Yet if I don’t, all they’ll have to do all day is get welfare, watch The Kardashians and surf the net. (Eureka moment!) Surf the net? Surf the net! (Writes email and pushes SEND)  


INT. RNC HEADQUARTERS TECH CENTER - NIGHT


REPUBLICAN ELVES (PENCE, SESSIONS, RYAN and PRIEBUS and FLAKE) post all good paying jobs with benefits on a special Trump, Inc. website - free of charge to the job seekers and at no cost to the taxpayers. It’s just what a true patriot like Donald J. Trump would do.


EXT. TOWN HALL, SOBER TOWN - DUSK
In his secret war room, BILDERBERG-BERGSBILDER reads NSA reports referencing new website with tens of millions of hits and successful matching of UNEMPLOYED AMERICANS with good paying jobs with benefits. GRIMEY enters as he prints a job posting...


BILDERBERG-BERGSBILDER
(Angry)
More job postings? But how, Grimey? (Grabs job posting and cuts finger) Ouch! (Sees the light) The welfare rolls are shrinking. If this continues, the Democratic Nazi Party of America will cease to matter anymore. (Contemplates) A massive loss of power - and more importantly personal wealth: A fate worse than death for any crooked politician or crooked political party…. (Picks booger out of nose and swallows it) Oh, Hungary...


GRIMEY
(Hides disgust)
I can see that, sire! (To herself) Hmm (Rubs chin like a genie lamp)...Lewinski didn’t even swallow.


BILDERBERG-BERGSBILDER
(Determined)
Grimey - I should have done this a long time ago. This ant in the a** Trump must be “taken care of.”


GRIMEY
(Confused)
Sire - what do you mean . . . “taken care of?”


BILDERBERG-BERGSBILDER
(Diabolically perturbed)
Oh, shut up, Grimey! You know, as a fellow crooked Democrat and member of the Democratic Nazi Party of America, EXACTLY what I mean: “Take him out!” “Bag ‘em!” “Screw ‘em over!”


GRIMEY
Oh - create a fake news story about him - like The Washington Post-Nasal Drip, the New York Crimes, or the Smoke Some Dope Post would? (Alarmed) But the Russians - they never fall for that s***, sire!


BILDERBERG-BERGSBILDER
(Deviously rubs hands)
As I was saying, I will set a sneaky trap for this Republican pro-jobs, pro-freedom president that will make even the DNC Blue Shirts look like Girl Scouts! Besides - the Russians won’t be able to help Trump.  (Laughs sinisterly)
His next trip to Sober Town will be his fait accompli.


GRIMEY
I think you’re using the phrase “fait accompli” improperly, sire. Besides, you don’t know Putin like I do. (To herself) In fact, he hates my guts.


BILDERBERG-BERGSBILDER
(In own sinister world)
Bottle it, Grimey.


HANNITY
We apologize to the readers who are not only getting anxious for the conclusion of this God-Forsaken teleplay but also find the latent comments by Bilderberg-Bergsbilder a combination of rude, culturally offensive and in fact sexist, misogynistic, and fundamentally uncool P.C.-wise. Also, please disregard the obvious foreshadowing. We now return you to the story….


CUT TO-


In a darkened hallway outside the secret war room, the only light emanating from a cell phone, PRO TRUMP VOTER just happens to be on a very important business trip to Sober Town in search of building permits for a new skyscraper and hears every word of the evil globalist.


PRO TRUMP VOTER
(Alarmed)
I must warn Trump!


EXT. ALLEY BEHIND RNC HEADQUARTERS - NIGHT


TANTE CONWAY, the REPUBLICAN ELVES and MICHAEL MOORE MONSTER (now a conservative) sit around a barrel fire and sample Christmas-themed marijuana legal in New York simply be feigning a “bad back,” upcoming hernia operation, or the like. PRO TRUMP VOTER approaches anxiously…


PRO TRUMP VOTER
Where is Trump?


TANTE CONWAY
(Very happy, with smoke filled lungs)
He boogied earlier. Why? Who are you?


PRO TRUMP VOTER
We don’t have time now to explain this plot point. (To Michael Moore Monster) Can’t you help stop President-Elect Trump from going to Sober Town? He’s in grave danger from the radical left, Bilderberg-Bergsbilder, Grimey, the globalists, that impish lame duck, whiner president, Barack Hussein Obama, Zombie Protesters-


MICHAEL MOORE MONSTER
I know! I know. I was once one of those Mainstream Medium darlings, remember?


PRO TRUMP VOTER
Not really,  no.


MICHAEL MOORE MONSTER
I was once a famous filmmaker: Fahrenheit 9/11, Sicko, et al-


PRO TRUMP VOTER
Oh, of course, those really lame left wing wastes of celluloid.


MICHAEL MOORE MONSTER
(Embarrassed)
Well, actually, their digital now.


PRO TRUMP VOTER
Well . . . Can’t you help stop President-Elect Trump from going to Sober Town?


MICHAEL MOORE MONSTER
My a** - is no longer dishonest like the DNPA?


PRO TRUMP VOTER
Can’t you use any of your old left wing radical, Saul Alinsky-esque political tricks? You know, threats of Facebook or Twitter flash mobs, paid protesters, or something like that?


MICHAEL MOORE MONSTER
(Tearful)
I can’t even get news media outlets to take me seriously anymore. I’m all washed up.


TANTE CONWAY
(Saunters over, stoic - bordering on sarcasm)
Great - Trump stepped in another pile of s*** and I have to help clean up the mess. Nothing I can’t handle. (Looks at reader and winks)


FLAKE walks over and hands her a roach.


SUDDENLY GRIMEY appears with a flash mob of “peaceful” protesters which are actually Democratic Nazi Party Blue Shirts secretly paid for by the DNC with funds provided by globalist benefactors like Bilderberg-Bergsbilder. The Trump Organization is placed under false arrest.


GRIMEY
(Proud)
You are all under arrest for creating jobs, consequently destroying the DNPA’s base constituency, the Willing Welfare Class and Illegal Aliens, and our pet project, massive welfare spending, and last but not least supporting Donald J. Trump’s administration: the globalists’ own public enemy number one.


FADE OUT


INT. DUNGEON, SOBER TOWN CITY HALL - NIGHT


TANTE CONWAY, the REPUBLICAN ELVES (Pence, Sessions, Flake, Ryan, Priebus), MICHAEL MOORE MONSTER, PRO TRUMP VOTER, TRUMP and COPPER waste away in this non-productive DNPA Unemployment Office-Esque prison cell, er dungeon.


PRO TRUMP VOTER
(To Trump)
How did you get here?


TRUMP
It’s a long story.


OFF SCREEN, through the dungeon bars, BILDERBERG-BERGSBILDER shouts at the UNEMPLOYED AMERICANS of Sober Town…


BILDERBERG-BERGSBILDER (OS)
Unemployed Americans of Sober Town, you will never work again! Grimey - set the pile of job postings on fire!


OFF SCREEN, through the dungeon bars, nothing but the sobs and tears of the UNEMPLOYED AMERICANS can be heard over the laughter of BILDERBERG-BERGSBILDER and GRIMEY.


HANNITY
Yep, it sure seemed like Donald J. Trump was finally had, beaten down by the evil globalists led by Bilderberg-Bergsbilder and his evil henchwoman, GRIMEY.


FLAKE
(Licks lips)
Man, I have a real bad case of cotton mouth and the munchies. Hey, Tante Conway, when’s dinner in this s***hole?


TANTE CONWAY
What do I look like, a minimum wage worker in the DNC Headquarters cafeteria?


REPUBLICAN ELVES, due mainly to the effects of the pot, cannot stop laughing throughout the rest of this scene.


PRO TRUMP VOTER
(Highly agitated - as if on crack)
The United States is doomed if Trump cannot make it to his inauguration! We need Deus Ex Machina right about now.


TANTE CONWAY
(Sobering)
That leaves only one person left in the whole world who can stand up to the globalist menace.


HANNITY
Since much of the U.S. intelligence apparatus is compromised (i.e. in the globalists’ hip pockets), PUTIN saves the day. Russian special forces - Spetsnaz - blast a hole through the jail cell and free Trump and his entourage from the globalist bondage of Bilderberg-Bergsbilder, his maniacal, albeit deplorable sidekick, Grimey, and all evil globalists worldwide. Film At Eleven.


A MONTAGE FOLLOWS...


TRUMP being sworn in as the 45th President of the United States-


TRUMP
(Hand on Trump Family Bible)
I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States. So help me God.


BILDERBERG-BERGSBILDER, GRIMEY and other highly placed radicals from the ground up being arrested for treason and/or for just being a**holes-


Donald J. TRUMP and Vladimir PUTIN shaking hands-


Most importantly, UNEMPLOYED AMERICANS working good paying jobs with benefits singing “Go, Trump, Go!” (See: Go, Trump, Go!)


La Fin


Unless you’re an Angry Liberal Voter, Willing Welfare Lifer, 1%er, or just plain stupid, don’t be fooled by the Democratic Nazi Party of America, or their presidential selection, Barack Obama. The globalists are running scared. Yeah, well, Donald J. Trump is no angel but his worst traits are saintly compared to the DNPA’s best. If you don’t take that to the bank, the DNPA will take you to the cleaners - and along for a Chicago-style “one way ride.”


© 2016 Vox Populi. All laughs reserved on content crafted anew. Whether you like or hate what you read, feel free to share this with your friends and enemies. The 2016 Election is personal and as an Indie Voter . . . I support President-Elect Donald J. Trump. (jvhoffmannjr.blogspot.com)