Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Toto Barks the Blues

This Sarcasm Just In...


Toto Barks the Blues


By Bathhouse John for Vox Populi | January 25, 2017 at 12 PM (“High Noon”)


This is an additional scene added to the farcical series of short political sketches based upon the classic children’s book by L. Frank Baum, The Wizard of Oz, and classic film of the same name, starring the late, great Judy Garland. Toto sings to the tune, “What It’s Like” by Everlast (See: Nothing Like The Original). Toto’s language has been graciously translated by Bathhouse John.


You've all seen the canine at the kitchen table beggin' for some steak,
The hair on his snout is dirty, twisted, cowlicked from a** lickin’,


The mutt plays his owner via savoir faire, oui, oui - with disdain in his eyes,
"Get me something other than slop!” is all he barks ‘n’ growls with pride,


May God Bless the guy who invented the delicacy canines all know and love - soft chew food,
Cause we’re sick of da slop, minus homemade pork chops,
frankly we’re tired of barkin’ da Blues.


Cuz with all animals - might makes right,
Cuz with all animals - might makes right,
Cuz with all animals - might makes right,
Cuz with all animals - might makes right.


This uptown Lady got pregnant from a stray named Tramp - really just a ghetto score,


The dyslexic god barked, “Prophylactics not my thing, Lady, cuz I’m the stray thought you’d been barkin’ ‘bout!”


But three litters later, Tramp’s moved on to some new chew toy ‘n’ local playmates,


So Lady howled between growls, “Tramp’s all that don’t matter, I’ll neuter that two-timin’ scammer!”


As Lady prepped for the splatter, of her uterus, vag and now low lyin’ bladder,


Truth is, her owner’s countin’ on some real cash - it matters, to pay off the bills, and cop an ounce of luscious hash,


While selling the pups in front of Walmart to High Desert saps - the homies grill the owner, “They AKC - a winner?”


See da pups mean cash for snacks, smokes, dope and booze - for at least a few.


Cuz with all animals - might makes right,
Cuz with all animals - might makes right,
Cuz with all animals - might makes right,
Cuz with all animals - might makes right.


I saw a hound drool phlegm,
I saw a beagle on a tree piss,
I saw a pit bull crush,


The thievin’ hand of a drug kingpin,
only to be downtown euthanized.
Saw the dogcatcher eatin’ pie,


While on the clock - kinda bad,
Sniffed the ganj of my master,
While the snacks disappeared,


I licked my toosh down daily,
Enjoyed the cool liq’ from a toilet,
Even ate my own vomit-like gruel,


Oui, oui, slurped the gruel a bit-
But it only led to a pungent fart,
Yo, dog - catch my whiff?


Watch me lick, and lick and lick and lick,
the same spot...


Ran the streets with a Lab named “Yeller”,
Licking the chaff, smelling rears, quite the cape’,


Sad tale - pray tell, Yellar fell down after a wolfy tiff,
the night the rabies drove Old Yeller down,


Dog versus wolf, he lost ‘n’ faced a certain fate, “Woof, woof, c’est la vie!”


All Old Yell’ got was a book deal, Disney film cum laude, and real dead. (See: Old Yeller)


Que sera sera, nay?
It really sucks being a dog, a mere “house pet”,


God Help us animals bear the brunt of human error,
Frankly, those animals many times suck,
and cannot be trusted-


Just look at Clinton, Soros, Ashcan Jug, the Material Girl and Michael “Fathead” Moore…


Best friend - then you might know what it likes to bark the blues,


Cuz with all animals - might makes right,
Cuz with all animals - might makes right,
Cuz with all animals - might makes right...
and the human animal always wins.


Unless you’re an Angry Liberal Voter, Willing Welfare Lifer, 1%er, or just plain stupid, don’t be fooled by the Democratic Nazi Party of America, or their presidential selection, Barack Obama. The globalists are running scared. Yeah, well, Donald J. Trump is no angel but his worst traits are saintly compared to the DNPA’s best. If you don’t take that to the bank, the DNPA will take you to the cleaners - and along for a Chicago-style “one way ride.”


© 2017 Vox Populi. All laughs reserved on content crafted anew. Whether you like or hate what you read, feel free to share this with your friends and enemies. The 2016 Election was personal and as an Indie Voter . . . I support President Donald J. Trump. (jvhoffmannjr.blogspot.com)



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