Sunday, April 30, 2017

Ship of Fools: A “Titanic” Dinner Scene

This Sarcasm Just In...


Ship of Fools: A “Titanic” Dinner Scene


By Bathhouse John for Vox Populi | April 30, 2017 at 12 PM (“High Noon”)


This crazy and thankfully short stage play is based upon the classic tearjerker film,  Titanic - and the famous Dinner Scene where Jack is placed into the “shark tank” with the globalist menagerie. Come now - Who hasn’t seen this movie? Psst: this is no tearjerker….


STARRING


President TRUMP - as Jack
Independent VOTER - as Rose
Barack OBAMA - as Cal
Maxine WATERS - as Rose's Mom
Elizabeth “Pocahontas” WARREN - COUNTESS OF ROTHES
George SOROS - John Jacob Astor
Tamika BOLTON - “Mrs.” John Jacob Astor
Bill CLINTON - Benjamin Guggenheim
Energizer BUNNY - Bill’s Mistress
Sean PENN - Sir Cosmo Duff-Gordon
MADONNA - Lady Duff-Gordon
Kellyanne CONWAY - as "Unsinkable" Molly Brown
Sean HANNITY - as Narrator
John Podesta - J. Bruce Ismay
Newt GINGRICH - Mr. Andrews
Paul RYAN - Waiter
Warren BUFFETT - Fat Old Man


INT. DEMOCRATIC NAZI PARTY OF AMERICA CAFETERIA - NIGHT


Independent VOTER walks graciously down a set of serpentine steps to a landing - towards President TRUMP - and offers her outstretched white glove-bedecked right hand, emblazoned with the word, “Suffrage.” He kisses it-


TRUMP
(Smiles)
I was taught respect at the Kew-Forest School in Queens. Always wanted to do that.


VOTER smiles and the naive couple make their way toward the shark tank, or DNPA cafeteria.   TRUMP struts like a peacock as VOTER admires his confidence. They approach OBAMA and WATERS who are in a deep, almost disturbing conversation.


VOTER
(Tugs OBAMA’S coat)
Darling - Surely you remember President Trump?


Both look dumbfounded and . . . well, pretty stupid.


OBAMA
(Spins - looks like Bozo the Clown)
Trump? (Giggles) That’s amazing! You could almost pass for a politician.


TRUMP
(Unfazed)
Almost.


OBAMA
(Offers arm to WATERS)
Piss ants!


OBAMA and WATERS exeunt as VOTER and TRUMP smile at each other as if to say, “Crooked pols!” and continue on. They suddenly veer to the extreme left…


VOTER
(Points, tries not to laugh)
That’s Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren. She claims she’s got Native American blood. (Points to the right of the extreme left) That’s George Soros. The richest man on Das Narrenschiff; Nazi collaborator, Judaic dropout. His little wifey there - Tamika’s my age and in a delicate condition. I mean, she’s his third spouse and probably not the last.


We see BOLTON awkwardly scan the crowd for mistresses.


VOTER
See how she’s trying to deny it-


TRUMP
(Interjects)
But . . . Soros IS old.


VOTER
But . . . Soros IS rich. Outside of the DNPA - quite the scandal.


Sean PENN, MADONNA, OBAMA and WATERS converse creepily with low tones and whispers.


VOTER
(Head bobs toward the center)
And that’s Bill Clinton and his mistress, the Energizer Bunny, Julie Tauber McMahon. Mrs. Clinton is at home with the full plantation staff, the animals and the post-campaign debacle to take care of, of course.


TRUMP
(Mutters)
And I thought I had problems.


VOTER
(Awkwardly points about as left as she can)
And there are Sean Penn and Madonna. Quite the scandal, too. Sean tried to interview El Chapo. Really thought it was important. Madonna-


TRUMP
Wait! Wait! Wait! This couple is history, no?


VOTER
Yes, but work with me, Mr. President. This is a make-believe account, remember?


TRUMP
Right, right, right. (To himself) This calls for a tweet.


VOTER
Anywho - Madonna is a walking scandal herself. Designs smutty music and clothing trends, among her many talents. I mean, blow up the White House?


TRUMP
(Quickly ducks)
Holy-


VOTER
Don’t worry - that’s in a different time and place.


TRUMP
(Relieved)
Oh, OK . . . good.


VOTER
(Waves at Madonna)
She’s very popular with the boys on the left.

Meanwhile, off in their own creepy conversation...

CLINTON
(Eyes VOTER, To Obama)
Congratulations, Obama. She’s splendid.


OBAMA
(Speaks as if he paid for his own education at Columbia - the university and not the marijuana mix - suddenly sniffs the aroma of food, smiles and giggles)
Well, thank you.

Thankfully breaking up the monotony . . . Kellyanne CONWAY approaches VOTER and TRUMP.


CONWAY
Care to escort a lady to the shark tank?


TRUMP
(Awkwardly, I mean they’re in DNPA land)
Certainly - they can’t eat us all at once!


The three walk arm-in-arm graciously towards the table.


CONWAY
Ain’t nothin’ to it, huh Trump? Remember they love money and power, so just pretend that you own a piece of the world and you’re in the boys club of boys clubs - the Democratic Nazi Party of America.


The trio approaches SOROS and BOLTON.


CONWAY
Hey, Soros!


SOROS
Vell, hello, Kellyanne. Zo (stutters) nice to see you.


VOTER
(Proud)
I’d like you to meet President Trump.


BOLTON
(Struggles to extend hand - loaded with diamond rings and gold bracelets - to TRUMP)
How DID you do it?


TRUMP
How do YOU do?


SOROS
(Extends hand, stutters)
Pres-i-dent Trump. Are you of the Scotland Trumps?


TRUMP
Yes - and the New York Trumps.


NARRATOR/HANNITY
Trump must have been nervous. But he never faltered . . .  except when he tweets crazy s***. They assumed he was one of them - corrupt, greedy, globalist heir to a piece of the world. New, albeit honest billionaire, but still a member of the DNPA club; a cunning globalist scheme. Maxine Waters, of course, could always be counted upon…


INT. DINNER TABLE - NIGHT


The ensemble sits at the table of the DNPA. Dinner is served...


WATERS
(Gloats, as if sticking the knife in AND twisting it)
Tell us of the hardships of the working men and women throughout the United States, Mr. Trump. On the contrary, in my district anyway, I hear they’re quite good if you’re a Democrat, i.e. a Welfare Lifer, Illegal or 1%er?


TRUMP
(Sticks it right back)
The worst I’ve seen, Congresswoman. As if you really care. Hardly any quitters amongst the true patriots.


OBAMA
(Arrogant but banal)
Mr. Trump joins us from the real world. He’s no career politician. He was of some assistance to my constituency. (Gestures toward Voter)


VOTER
It turns out that President Trump is quite the people’s president. He was kind enough to make promises to the people that he intended to keep. Think Obamacare. (Eyes Obama)


RYAN approaches carrying business as usual on a solid gold tray. He bends over to OBAMA and offers it up to him. As OBAMA partakes in the free money...


OBAMA
Voter and I differ somewhat in our definition of keeping a promise. Not to impugn your definition, sir.


TRUMP gingerly flips off OBAMA.


TRUMP
(Studies tableware as if they’re tools of government, whispers to CONWAY)
Is this all for me?


CONWAY
(Adroit, whispers)
Just start from the outside and work your way in.


PODESTA
(To GINGRICH)
He knows every rivet in it, don’t you, Newt?


VOTER
(To GINGRICH, light years ahead of the liberals)
YOUR ship is a wonder, Mr. Gingrich.


GINGRICH
(Smiles sardonically)
Thank you, Kellyanne.


VOTER alerts TRUMP to RYAN’S tray.


RYAN
(Bends down close to TRUMP)
How do you take your business as usual, Mr. President?


TRUMP
None for me. Never did like it much.


VOTER smiles as WATERS wades in…


WATERS
(As she enjoys the taxpayer provided expensive food)
And where exactly do you live - politically speaking, Mr. Trump?


TRUMP
Well, right now my address is 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue-


WATERS suddenly gags on her own tongue and chokes nearly to death. Obama slaps her quite hard on the back, and she unfortunately recovers to finish this little skit.


TRUMP
After that it just depends where my hotels are located and God’s good humor.


WATERS
(Angry)
How is it that you have means to travel?


As OBAMA becomes visibly nervous…


TRUMP
I worked my way up in the real word, you know, working hard jobs. Invested my money, relied upon my own self to build my fortune.


As OBAMA slides down in his chair…


TRUMP
I don't appreciate people who live off of the already overburdened taxpayers. But . . . I won the election last November - many thanks to the “Titanic” here and a lucky hand at the electoral process. A VERY lucky hand.


TRUMP and VOTER eye each other and smile.


BUFFETT
(Shouts out, as if drunk)
All in life is a game of luck!


OBAMA
(Sips expensive champagne courtesy of the taxpayer)
Hmm . . . a real man makes his own luck - right Trump?


WATERS and OBAMA give TRUMP the “evil eye” as VOTER ignores the serial politicians.


TRUMP
(Nods, to himself)
A*******.


WATERS
And you find that achieving things on your own is appealing, do you?


CONWAY
(Eyes WATERS, to herself)
a**wipe.


TRUMP
Well, yes congresswoman, I do. I got the support of the American people, a few blank Twitter queues . . . I mean, I love waking up in the morning not knowing what to Tweet that day. How to stir the ire in the DNPA - in you fine people. Whom I’m going to make a deal with? Where I might end up that day? Just the other night, I was sleeping in Trump Tower and now, now I’m living in the White House. Here I am, in the grandest globalist cafe, having expensive champagne with you left wingers.


EPILOGUE


If you remember correctly . . . the supposed “unsinkable ship” sinks in the end. Will the Democratic Nazi Party of America metaphorically sink, likewise? Either way, good, hardworking taxpayers will prevail over evil globalists hell bent on creating a welfarized economy with dependent voters who have no choice but to continually come back to the freebie till.



Unless you’re an Angry Liberal Voter, Willing Welfare Lifer, 1%er, or just plain stupid, don’t be fooled by the Democratic Nazi Party of America, or their presidential selection, Barack Obama. The globalists are running scared and they’ve sicked thcall girls, the Fake Stream Media Outlets, after President Trump and his administration. Yeah, well, Donald J. Trump is no angel but his worst traits are saintly compared to the DNPA’s best. If you don’t take that to the bank, the DNPA will take you to the cleaners - and along for a Chicago-style “one way ride.”


© 2017 Vox Populi. All rights reserved on content crafted anew. Whether you like or hate what you read, feel free to share this with your friends and enemies. The 2016 Election was personal and as an Indie Voter . . . I support President Donald J. Trump. (jvhoffmannjr.blogspot.com)

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