Sunday, May 28, 2017

Chicago Pawn: President Obama's ACA Scam

This Sarcasm Just In...

Chicago Pawn: President Obama's  ACA Scam

By Bathhouse John for Vox Populi | May 28, 2017 at 12 PM (“High Noon”)


Outside Chicago Pawn, run by the Fleece in Chief, President Obama, hardworking taxpayers have to hock their souls just to stay afloat in the polluted, enflamed ACA River. This is based upon the Breeder’s Guide scene from the wonderful Marx Brothers film, "A Day at the Races." Read how President Obama carried out his entire healthcare scam on the unsuspecting Hardworking American Taxpayer…

SETTING: The exterior of Chicago Pawn on Rush Street, Chicago’s near North Side. Seedy, slimy, scam-prone, located not too far from where John Dillinger was set up by a prostitute (Think Democratic and Republican pols who went along with the scam.) and gunned down by the G Men (Think, you guessed it, Barack Obama!).

Hardworking American TAXPAYER, minding his own business, is approached by President Barack OBAMA, eyeing the former’s pockets and pushing a seedy, slimy, broken-down peddler’s handcart emblazoned with the words, “Affordable Care Act.”

TAXPAYER
(Holds own health plan documents)
My own friends know that I don’t need a new health plan.

OBAMA
Well, boss, I feel pretty sorry for you walking around with (Tries not to giggle) real fine healthcare. What the f***! You’re just throwing your hard earned money away on a low cost, high value product.

TAXPAYER
(Sadly stumped, hesitates, reads the words on the cart, then...)
Where can I get a better health care plan, as if I didn’t know.

OBAMA
(Boastful)
Only from me. The Affordable Care Act is all or nothing. No need to even read the bill! (Senses the TAXPAYER has already bit on the line, walks away pushing his handcart, shouts) Get your better health care!

TAXPAYER
(Poor sap! Nervous-)
Hey, you know, all I wanted was the good health insurance I already had for my family - not an entirely new plan. How much is your new plan?

OBAMA
(Confident that he’s even being listened to)
Cheaper than your current insurance.

TAXPAYER
Cheaper?

OBAMA
(Reaches into black hole of a handcart)
I promise! But you also have to pay for everyone else, you know, the four out of five urban Americans who live off the system and vote for me and my party, the Democratic Nazi Party of America or DNPA. So, get out your wallet.

TAXPAYER
Well, alright, as long as it’s cheaper like you promise. There’s no use throwing away my hard earned money.

OBAMA
(Pulls out 2300 page ACA document, hands it like a hot potato to TAXPAYER)
No doubt, dog!

TAXPAYER
(Hands money to OBAMA, takes ACA document)
But this is it. I don’t want anymore cost increases. (Struggles with cumbersome ACA document) Based upon your political rhetoric, I thought this would be a lot simpler.

As TAXPAYER, deep in confusion, thumbs through the monstrous ACA document, thinking like, “What the f*** is all this?” . . . the Doomsday Cuckoo Clock strikes the hour, Governor Jerry “MOONBEAM” Brown pops out of nowhere - like a cuckoo bird popping out of a cuckoo clock; like the prez is the Candy Man...

OBAMA
(Smiles, hands MOONBEAM hard earned TAXPAYER money, whispers)
Keep our base constituency in Cali happy, Moonbeam! Put the money into the welfare system for the welfare classes!

As the Doomsday Cuckoo Clock strikes the hour again, MOONBEAM disappears like a, well, cuckoo bird.  

OBAMA
(Walks away pushing his handcart, shouts)
Get your better health care!

TAXPAYER
(To himself)
Man, this is a b**** to read, let alone understand.

OBAMA
(Again, pushes handcart, shouts)
Get your better health care!

TAXPAYER
(Reads from ACA document)
Provided A, B, C and D collude, insured will get to keep his or her own doctor . . . maybe. (Suddenly alarmed)
Maybe?

OBAMA
(Returns quickly)
I would not lie to you. Remember . . . I hail from Chicago, the Windy City - where honesty and integrity are underscored.

TAXPAYER
(Points inside ACA document)
I may be able to keep my doctor?

OBAMA
(With crossed fingers, underlines statement in ACA document)
That’s 100% absolutely almost correct. (Animated, like when he wiggled off the Benghazi hook and pinned it on Susan Rice and Crooked Hillary) I promise you can keep your doctor. Pinky swear on my illegitimate birth certificate. That’s the horse I’m betting your life on. (Arrogantly walks away, like - “There’s a sucker born every minute!” - pushes handcart, shouts)
Get your better health care!


TAXPAYER
(Doubtful, but now kinda stuck, aww, hell, kinda f*****!)
Right, right, right, I’m getting the idea here about helping out the DNPA’s base constituency on the hardworking taxpayer’s dime, but what do we get out of it? I mean, seriously. Look at this f****** ACA document. It’s pretty tricky for us working people. Lawyers don't even understand it. Your healthcare plan is based upon, let me see, "the stupidity of the American voter."

OBAMA
Where’d you get that from, Fox?

TAXPAYER
No, but another reputable news source, Town Hall.

OBAMA
Oh. (Points to ACA document with crossed fingers) What ‘re you going to believe, me or your own eyes? I'd be lyin' to you if I told you the truth. Besides, there’s more to the healthcare law.  

TAXPAYER
I’m beginning to not like you - a lot!

OBAMA
Yes, I suppose.

TAXPAYER
(Realization - like “Holy s***!”)
What do you mean, “there’s more to the healthcare law?”

OBAMA
It’s, aww, hell, it’s much more expensive than I led onto.

TAXPAYER
Oh, I see. (Opens ACA document again)

OBAMA
Like I said, reading it ain’t going to help you. No point.

TAXPAYER
(Continues to search through ACA document)
Oh, f***! What did this a**hole sell me?

OBAMA
(Shakes head with smile)
No, no, no, this goes beyond the bill. Look into your wallet.

TAXPAYER
(Shocked, rolls eyes, considers punching Obama out, mutters)
D***head. (Pauses) Look into your wallet?

OBAMA
No, YOUR wallet.

TAXPAYER
No s***-

OBAMA
Not mine. You already pay for me, my wife and my kids, remember? (Cackles like a strong-arming thug at a liquor store) For life.

TAXPAYER and OBAMA eye each other intently and nod their heads repeatedly toward one another, Newton’s Third Law of Action/Reaction, like the thug (OBAMA) beating on the victim (TAXPAYER).

TAXPAYER
But you’ll explain this in a minute or so, won't you?

OBAMA
(Again, pushes handcart, shouts)
Get your better health care!

TAXPAYER
(Frustrated, rolls eyes)
I’m getting a real fine batch of better health care right here! (Points to ACA document)

OBAMA
(Shitty smile towards audience, pulls handcart back towards TAXPAYER, mumbles)
Get your better health care.

TAXPAYER
(Like done, ready to jump off of a bridge)
How much more will it cost?

OBAMA
Upwards of 400% over a mere seven years-

TAXPAYER
400%!

OBAMA
Or more.

TAXPAYER
(Steps toward OBAMA)
All I ever wanted, worked for and paid for was decent healthcare. What a liar.

OBAMA
(Steps back)
Don’t blame me! Blame the fools that voted for me and the pols who supported this law  . . . to benefit in whole and in part the base constituency of the Democratic Nazi Party of America: the Welfare Lifers and Illegal Aliens. I mean, politics is power - nothing more. (Holds out hand, motions towards TAXPAYER’S wallet) Come on.

TAXPAYER
(AS if he has a choice, removes wallet and pays out more hard earned money)
Highway robbery! What else should anyone have expected from a politician straight out of the most crooked city in the history of the world: Chicago.

OBAMA
Yes, but I have to cover the asses of my homies, my urban buds. They vote for me and my peops - no matter what! BTW - I raided profits from Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to pay the outrageous cost increases for what has now been dubbed Obamacare.

TAXPAYER pulls out a banana from his pants pocket, peels it, eats it.

OBAMA
(Pushes handcart, shouts)
Get your better health care!

As OBAMA exits from view, TAXPAYER gingerly tosses the peel in the path of the Fleece in Chief….

Unless you’re an Angry Liberal Voter, Willing Welfare Lifer, 1%er, or just plain stupid, don’t be fooled by the Democratic Nazi Party of America, or their presidential selection, Barack Obama. The globalists are running scared and they’ve sicked their call girls, the Fake Stream Media Outlets, after President Trump and his administration. Yeah, well, Donald J. Trump is no angel but his worst traits are saintly compared to the DNPA’s best. If you don’t take that to the bank, the DNPA will take you to the cleaners - and along for a Chicago-style “one way ride.”

© 2017 Vox Populi. All rights reserved on content crafted anew. Whether you like or hate what you read, feel free to share this with your friends and enemies. The 2016 Election was personal and as an Indie Voter . . . I support President Donald J. Trump. (jvhoffmannjr.blogspot.com)

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