Friday, June 23, 2017

From the Files of Police Squad: The Case of the Obstruction Collusion Something-Or-Other (A 6.66 Minute Stage Play) PARTIE DEUX

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From the Files of Police Squad: The Case of the Obstruction Collusion Something-Or-Other (A 6.66 Minute Stage Play) PARTIE DEUX

By Bathhouse John for Vox Populi | June 23, 2017 at 12 PM (“High Noon”)

This crazy, zany 6.66 minute stage play is based upon the classic TV show, "Police Squad" (Episode 1) (1982). A descendant of the wildly popular comedy film, Airplane (1980), this show served as the progenitor for the Naked Gun (1988) film franchise.

PLOT: Three closet Democratic Nazi Party of America (DNPA) members, AKA “Crime Cubed” (Special Counsel Robert Mueller, fired FBI Director, James Comey and Assistant US Deputy Attorney General Rob Rosenstein), working as shills for the Goober Globalist 1%ers, collude to rob the Bank of America’s Public Trust - and blame it on President Trump. President Donald Trump and Vice President Mike Pence, along with a kooky band of White House Advisors, must solve this crime, a Deep State black op, against the American people - and their duly elected president.

STARRING...

Karen HANDEL (R-GA) as Announcer (Voice Over)

Abraham Lincoln as himself

Barack OBAMA as himself

Valerie JARRETT as herself

AMERICAN VOTER as Murdered Bank President

RUSSIA as Murder Victim, Ralph Twice

SPECIal CounsEl Robert Mueller as Murderer and Thief, Sally Decker

President TRUMP as Detective Frank Drebin

Mike PENCE as Captain Ed Hocken

Paul RYAN (R-WI) as Ted the Lab Technician

PUTIN as Widower  (A wee bit confusing, I know.) of Mrs. Ralph Twice
Chief of Staff Reince PRIEBUS as himself (WH Advisor)

WH Press Secretary Sean SPICER as himself (WH Advisor)

Counselor to the President Kellyanne CONWAY as herself (WH Advisor)

Jesse WATTERS as himself

Sean HANNITY as Johnny the “Street Guru of Knowledge”

Rachel “Madcow” MADDOW as herself

James CLAPPER as himself


SO OUR STORY CONTINUES...


INT. OVAL OFFICE - DAY

PENCE and WATTERS work diligently to spread the truth.

“Hail to the Chief” emanates as TRUMP enters. White House Advisors, Chief of Staff Reince PRIEBUS, WH Press Secretary Sean SPICER, and Counselor to the President Kellyanne CONWAY . . . stand nearby and play with their smartphones...

TRUMP (VO)
The following morning, I reported back to the Oval Office.
On Capitol Hill, SPECIE MUELLER dictated a formal statement.
He said the hold-up woman, Russia, had come in once before, to extort protection money.

TRUMP
Something new?

PENCE
(Studies intel report)
Nothing.

TRUMP
(Points to  intel report)
Anything here?

PENCE
Not until we get the top secret intel report.

WATTERS
(Approaches gleefully, hands top secret intel report to TRUMP)
I got them right here, Mr. President. Reports from U.N. activity, negative. Collusion rundown on Russia, negative. Obstruction rundown on same, negative.

TRUMP
If Russia was crooked, she sure had a lot of people fooled.

PENCE
What about the final autopsy report on American Voter and Russia? They should rest in peace.

TRUMP
Yeah, anything unusual there?

WATTERS
(Points to intel document)
Take a look at that section on bullet penetration.

PENCE
(Reads over TRUMP’S shoulder)
According to this, the bullet canals in both bodies took an upward course.

TRUMP
And they were standing face to face. Just a few feet apart. I need to think out of the box on this one.

PENCE
Mr. President?


FADE OUT...


INT. BLACK FORD EXCURSION - DAY

TRUMP sits patiently along with White House Advisors, Chief of Staff Reince PRIEBUS, WH Press Secretary Sean SPICER, and Counselor to the President Kellyanne CONWAY.

EXT. SHOE SHINE STAND - DUSK

HANNITY dressed in fine two piece suit. Giants cap. Nerf football nearby.

“Hail to the Chief” emanates as TRUMP approaches out of the shadows and sits down in front of HANNITY. White House Advisors, Chief of Staff Reince PRIEBUS, WH Press Secretary Sean SPICER, and Counselor to the President Kellyanne CONWAY . . . stand nearby and play with their smartphones...

TRUMP
(Discreetly hands him 50 yard line Giants tickets)
What's the word on the street, Hannity?


HANNITY
I don't know. I hear a lot of things. Pick a topic.

TRUMP
Do you know anything about the double killings at the Bank of America's Public Trust and ensuing Deep State political op to try and destroy me?

HANNITY
You’re barking up the wrong tree with Russia. It’s a good country and the people make an honest living. Not her fault the CIA/DIA/DNPA created a boogie man to blame for Crooked Hillary's loss in 2016. Russia fits the “usual suspects” list perfectly. Now, Special Counsel Robert Mueller - that’s another story.

TRUMP discreetly hands HANNITY courtside Knicks tickets.

HANNITY
MUELLER and his buddies used to be b****** for the Clinton’s and of course the DNPA. Real close with James Clapper-

TRUMP
(Incredulous)
The spook?

HANNITY
Yep. Before you knew it, Mueller was up to his shiny bald head in penny-ante globalist scams and intelligence leaks.

TRUMP
Where do I locate the Clapper?

HANNITY pauses and motions for more payment.

TRUMP
(Reaches into suit pocket, pulls out Edward R. Murrow Award, hands it to Hannity)

HANNITY
(Texts TRUMP)
He's working at this address.

TRUMP
Thanks, Hannity. I gotta hand it to you, you’re no Irish bum, no mere cheaply made slice of Boston Creme Pie. YOU are the best in the business.

As TRUMP exits, Rachel “Madcow” MADDOW, wearing a plastic bag over her head, sits down in front of HANNITY.

MADDOW
(Dizzy, struggles to breath)
What do you know about life after death?


HANNITY
I wouldn't know anything about it.

MADDOW
(Tries to write him a check)

HANNITY
(Shakes head in disgust)
Your trust has no value anymore.

MADDOW
(Begs)
Please, Sean. I’m  . . . a lost soul.

HANNITY
(Disgusted, but willing to say anything to get her the hell out)
You talking existential being or anthropomorphic deity?
(Grabs football and throws it “off camera.”)


INT. BLACK FORD EXCURSION - DAY

TRUMP sits patiently along with White House Advisors, Chief of Staff Reince PRIEBUS, WH Press Secretary Sean SPICER, and Counselor to the President Kellyanne CONWAY. He eats a bowl of ice cream with TWO SCOOPS, the others just one scoop.

TRUMP (VO)
After taking care of an urgent personal matter, I proceeded directly to the address that Hannity had given me.

INT. BLACK FORD EXCURSION - DAY

TRUMP sits patiently along with White House Advisors, Chief of Staff Reince PRIEBUS, WH Press Secretary Sean SPICER, and Counselor to the President Kellyanne CONWAY.

INT. PENTAGON SPECIAL OPS OFFICE - DAY

A small, cramped broom closet, actually - with dirty DNPA member and professional spook, James "The Clapper" Clapper positioned inside. Like all Deep State cockroaches, the badly sour pretends to know what's best for everyone - in spite of the facts and our right to vote. (For a sampling of the Deep State’s asinine antics and it’s connection to the major parties, read the Power Prose™  comedy Blue Moon President.)

“Hail to the Chief” emanates as TRUMP approaches, eating his ice cream, and sits down in front of CLAPPER who’s smoking a big fat blunt. White House Advisors, Chief of Staff Reince PRIEBUS, WH Press Secretary Sean SPICER, and Counselor to the President Kellyanne CONWAY  . . . stand nearby - like really close - and play with their smartphones. TRUMP and his advisors constantly wave off the pot smoke throughout the scene.

MUSIC FROM RAVI SHANKAR sets the pot-induced mood...

CLAPPER
(While tokin’ up, draws with red Crayon in “Connect the Dots Codebook”, looks up)
As soon as this intel is complete, we'll know a lot more, Mr. President.

TRUMP
(Rolls eyes, eats ice cream)
Sure you will.

CLAPPER
(Reaches for intercom, pushes several buttons, finally)
Those wiretaps ready, Ms. Rice?

RICE (OS)
Yes, lieutenant, love.

CLAPPER
(Reaches for intercom, pushes several buttons, finally)
That’s . . . lieutenant general, Ms. Rice.

TRUMP
(Sets down ice cream, pulls out smartphone, tweets and says out loud)
Clapper’s a lieutenant - not a form of VD.

CLAPPER
(Eyes ice cream - “munchies-like”)
Uh, Mr. President-

TRUMP
(Quickly puts away smartphone, then picks up ice cream, finishes it)
Here.
(Offers remains up to CLAPPER who stares incessantly, like he’s “high on something”)

MEANWHILE...PRIEBUS, SPICER and CONWAY, unbeknownst to CLAPPER, rifle through several file drawers marked “Get Trump” and “Obama/Clinton Crimes,” taking pictures of sensitive files with their ubiquitous smartphones.  

CLAPPER
(Too high to respond properly)
Oh, thanks.

TRUMP
Yeah, well, get used to it.

CLAPPER
(Offers up “Connect the Dots Codebook” scribbled with red Crayon)   
Would you like to take a look at the intel?

TRUMP
Yes, I would, but I have some questions for you.

CLAPPER
(For a dirty DNPA member and professional spook, pretty dense)
All right, let's get started, shall we?

TRUMP
Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller?

CLAPPER
Robert Mueller. That name rings a bell. No, I can’t place it.

TRUMP
Are you crooked like Obama and Hillary?

CLAPPER
(Nervously takes deep drags, wrinkles form on his bald head)
Look, I’m telling you, I don’t know him.

TRUMP
(Motions to CONWAY, who offers CLAPPER some joints)

CLAPPER
(Greedily seizes them)
All right, I know him. He’s an acquaintance of mine. You fired him and he was frightened for his pathetic future, but so what?

PRIEBUS, SPICER AND CONWAY
(Indicate they’re all recording the conversation)
And?

TRUMP
(Smiles that Trump smile)

CLAPPER
Okay, okay, now, look he’s a good DNPA ass-kissin’ lib. We went out and had laughs, a couple of drinks, but that’s the whole story . . . officially anyways. He’s definitely a b**** of the Deep State.

TRUMP
(Pulls out smartphone, threatens to tweet)
Believe me-

CLAPPER
Look, look, I don’t need trouble. I’ll cooperate fully! (Delirious
from the dope) My God, you’re an animal!

TRUMP
(Grabs CLAPPER by bald head)
I am not an animal! I am the greatest, most controversial political figure since Abraham Lincoln!

INT. BLACK FORD EXCURSION - DAY

TRUMP sits patiently along with White House Advisors, Chief of Staff Reince PRIEBUS, WH Press Secretary Sean SPICER, and Counselor to the President Kellyanne CONWAY.

TRUMP (VO)
Clapper’s information pointed in the same direction, Herr Mueller. The pieces were now coming together, but they still weren’t enough. We needed something more for a conspiracy - or RICO - conviction against Mueller and the Deep State. I stopped back at the Oval Office to set the trap.


INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE OVAL OFFICE - DAY

“Hail to the Chief” emanates as TRUMP approaches. White House Advisors, Chief of Staff Reince PRIEBUS, WH Press Secretary Sean SPICER, and Counselor to the President Kellyanne CONWAY . . . stand nearby and play with their smartphones.

TRUMP (VO)
When I got to the elevator, my VP was already on the scene.

PENCE
Any luck with the dirty DNPA member and professional spook, Clapper, Mr. President?

TRUMP
It seems Herr Mueller “paid Clapper up in full,” one day after the double killing and theft.

PENCE
How do you know that?

TRUMP
Went through Clapper’s files. It seems the Deep State is pretty stupid and in deep doo doo. Herr Mueller was seeing Clapper-

PENCE
(Incredulous)
Are they gay?

TRUMP
(Irritated)
Stay focused! I keep forgetting you’re from Indiana. (To himself) Born and raised in New York, I was pro-LGBTQ before that was even cool. Anywho - six years, maybe seven. Eight times a year. Always owing his benefactor something. Then suddenly, 24 hours after the killing, Herr Mueller’s “paid up in full.”

PENCE
Well, it looks like Herr Mueller’s in this thing up to his slimy, shiny little bald head. Was the dirty DNPA member and professional spook cooperative?

TRUMP
Yeah, he gave us plenty of rope. Now we have to see if we can get Herr Mueller to stick his small head into the big justice noose.

PENCE
Yeah.

TRUMP pulls out smartphone and dials Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s number…

TRUMP
(Disguises voice to sound like CLAPPER’S, kinda like a cross between a jailhouse snitch and a weasel)
Hello? Hello, Mueller, this is CLAPPER. I need to talk to you.


CUT TO-

SPECIE MUELLER
Sorry, Clapper, we’re through. I paid you in full. I made an appointment with another Deep State faction.


CUT TO-

TRUMP
(Disguises voice to sound like CLAPPER’S)
That’s right, Mueller. You did pay me. I have the intel right here. Fresh from the CIA/DIA/DNPA - electronically traceable. You wanna talk?


CUT TO-

SPECIE MUELLER
Yeah, okay, you win.


CUT TO-

TRUMP
(Disguises voice to sound like CLAPPER’S)
Half an hour. 2650 Virginia Avenue NW.

PENCE
(Perplexed)
What was the phoney phone call about?

TRUMP
Just socialising. Talked to our little friend, Herr Mueller.

PENCE
(Level-headed)
Outside of the fact that he paid off Clapper, we still have no real proof and no motive.

TRUMP
Well, I say dipping into illegal intel is a pretty good motive.

PENCE
Not enough, Mr. President. We’ll need more before you fire his sorry a** and then send him "up the river" for good.

TRUMP
Don’t worry. I got a date with him at a very special place.

PENCE
Mr. President, one thing. Now, if you’re right, he’s already killed two people, and stolen large amounts of intel, what might be dubbed, “high crimes and misdemeanors.” Better watch your step.

INT. BLACK FORD EXCURSION - DAY

TRUMP sits patiently along with White House Advisors, Chief of Staff Reince PRIEBUS, WH Press Secretary Sean SPICER, and Counselor to the President Kellyanne CONWAY.

EXT. WATERGATE HOTEL - DUSK

“Hail to the Chief” emanates as TRUMP exits the vehicle along with White House Advisors, Chief of Staff Reince PRIEBUS, WH Press Secretary Sean SPICER, and Counselor to the President Kellyanne CONWAY . . . stand nearby and play with their smartphones. This time, Secret Service AGENTS arrive instantaneously and swarm the premises unbeknownst to SPECIE MUELLER.

SPECIE MUELLER
(Shocked)
Mr. President!

TRUMP
Hello, Herr Mueller, you waiting for someone?

SPECIE MUELLER
I was just about to leave.

TRUMP
Yeah, that’s the trouble with dirty DNPA members and professional spooks. They always keep you wondering.

SPECIE MUELLER
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
(Discreetly reaches for concealed German Luger, smiles, auf Deutsch)
Now, I got ya, Trump-

Just then, the Secret Service open fire and shoot Special Counsel Robert Mueller so full of holes that the coroner initially thought the corpse was a brick of Swiss cheese.

HANDEL (VO)
Be sure to tune in next week for another exciting story from the Files of Police Squad!


END PARTI DEUX

Unless you’re an Angry Liberal Voter, Willing Welfare Lifer, 1%er, or just plain stupid, don’t be fooled by the Democratic Nazi Party of America, or their presidential selection, Barack Obama. The globalists are running scared and they’ve sicked their call girls, the Fake Stream Media Outlets, after President Trump and his administration. Yeah, well, Donald J. Trump is no angel but his worst traits are saintly compared to the DNPA’s best. If you don’t take that to the bank, the DNPA will take you to the cleaners - and along for a Chicago-style “one way ride.”

© 2017 Vox Populi. All rights reserved on content crafted anew. Whether you like or hate what you read, feel free to share this with your friends and enemies. The 2016 Election was personal and as an Indie Voter . . . I support President Donald J. Trump. (jvhoffmannjr.blogspot.com)

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