Wednesday, February 8, 2017

The Demagogue of D.C. . . . (Parti Troi . . . George Soros - Gets Melted)

This Sarcasm Just In...


The Demagogue of D.C. - Silly Stage Play Vignettes
(Parti Troi: The Wicked Witch of the West - George Soros - Gets Melted)


By Bathhouse John for Vox Populi | February 8, 2017 at 12 PM (“High Noon”)


A farcical series of short political sketches based upon the classic children’s book by L. Frank Baum, The Wizard of Oz, and classic film of the same name, starring the late, great Judy Garland.


CAST OF CHARACTERS


Forces of Good
Dorothy - Donald. J. Trump
Toto - Unemployed American
Auntie Em - Newt Gingrich
Uncle Henry - Rudy Giuliani
The Good Warlock of the North - Vladimir Putin
The Trumpkins - Michiganders and Wisconsinites
SHERIFF of Milwaukee County - David A. Clarke, Jr.


Work Crew/Traveling Oz Crew:
Hunk/The Scarecrow - Iowa/Hawkeye
Hickory/The Tin Man - Ohio/Buckeye
Zeke/The Cowardly Lion - Pennsylvania/Nittany Lion


Forces of Evil
Miss Gulch/The Wicked Witch of the West - George “Goober Globalist” Soros
The Broom of The Wicked Witch of the West - Nancy Pelosi
Professor Marvel/The Wizard of Oz - President Obama
The Wicked Witch of the East - Hillary Clinton
Flying Monkees - Zombie Protesters hired by the Democratic Nazi Party of America viz-a-viz George Soros


As an aside, President Donald J. Trump won 2600 counties to Hillary Clinton Crooked Hillary’s 500, which translates to about 84% of the geographical mass of the United States. If you consider that counties are the closest political entities to represent the voter at the national level, President Trump destroyed HCCH through majority rule at the county-by-county or neighborhood level. Naturally, the Dems won the urban, highly welfarized areas and claim to have won the overall popular vote in spite of glaring examples of fraud such as the Fleece in Chief, Barack Obama, encouraging illegals to vote (What Do You Expect From a Crooked Chicago Pol?).


It is estimated that the Golden Fleece State has three million illegal aliens - which means one in ten Californians is illegal (See a Flaming Lefties patent argument supporting I.I.: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah). Now, this isn’t about blaming the illegal immigrants. They did what they had to do . . . but I do blame the scheming crooked pols from both parties who allowed it wholesale because they thought doing so was best for their own a****, while the working stiffs pay the price.


Meanwhile, President Trump fights the forces of evil to fix America’s problems one by one. Our story continues, albeit out of sync, but . . . what the hell.


Katonah, NY, a once proud and peaceful town…. Inside the enormous castle of the Wicked Witch of the West, George SOROS, built on profligate profits siphoned from the blood, sweat and tears of working Americans, our hero, Donald J. TRUMP, and his merry band of patriots, HAWKEYE, BUCKEYE and NITTANY LION - lest we forget, TOTO, too - attempt to flee the mechanizations and manipulations of the WITCH, his trusty sidekick, the BROOM (Nancy PELOSI) and naturally his homies, DNC “Blue Shirt” terrorists, AKA ZOMBIE PROTESTERS, and some other special, looney guests.  


TRUMP and his brave followers rush down a hall and are cut off by crazy CAL BERKELEY STUDENTS who, without batting an eye, attempt to burn down the entire mansion with them in it.


TRUMP and his brave followers rush down another hall and are cut off again - this time by angry pot smoking SENATOR ELIZABETH WARREN (D - Kepler 452b) and SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS (? - VT) who now dangerously forage for free snacking items.


TRUMP
(Knows their kind, throws them a blank check)
That’ll hold ‘em.


NITTANY LION
(Tosses a couple of Philly Cheesesteaks their way)
Nuttin’ like the best tasting food when you’re high.


SENATOR ELIZABETH WARREN (D - Kepler 452b) and SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS (? - VT) attack the sandwiches like, well, high as a kite pot smokers.


TRUMP and his brave followers rush down another hall and are cut off a third time - cuz three’s a charm - only this time it’s the Wicked Witch of the West . . . and he’s in his element, holding his fabled and faded BROOM (played by Nancy PELOSI).


TRUMP
(Pissed)
I hate this guy!


HAWKEYE
(No s***! He’s caused so much damage to Iowa’s economy.


BUCKEYE
(Mails fist)
Let me flatten him with my rusty fists of steel.


TRUMP
(Always the wiser)
No, no, no. Let the story unfold a little more, friends.


HAWKEYE, BUCKEYE and NITTANY LION stand behind TRUMP as TOTO slips through and-


SOROS
(Waves broomstick)
Meine, meine, kleine Kuss! You American patriots thought you could outsmart me, George Soros, business gazillionaire, albeit Judaic dropout? Nein, nein my little pussie hats!


PELOSI
(Dizzy - and confused)
Um, Your Darkness? Remember that I suffer with positional vertigo for which I receive 1450 per month in SSDI income, plus food stamps, free healthcare (Gushes with happiness) - THE BEST, free housing, free travel expenses . . . thanks to the Democratic Dictatorship in Sacramento which runs the Golden Fleece State of California . . . also built on profligate welfare payments siphoned from the blood, sweat and tears of working Americans, both legal residents and citizens.


HAWKEYE
(Steps from behind TRUMP, pissed)
What the?


BUCKEYE
(Steps from behind TRUMP, incredulous)
No wonder the illegals flock there.


PELOSI
(Giggles with pride)
Yeah, and I’m a 1%er. (Falls into dream state)


NITTANY LION
(Still stands behind TRUMP)
One third of all welfare recipients live in the Golden Fleece State.


SOROS
(Not paying any attention at all, like pretty stupid)
Tick, tock, dee clock strikes-


TRUMP
(Agitated, like “What the f***?”)
Can you drop the Hungarian-style rhetorical goulash?


SOROS
(Smiles with pride, overly focused, rubs old, scaly dry hands together)
Who shall pay dee ultimate price first fur loving America more den dee Democratic Nazi Party of America - er, HALT!


TOTO
(Urinates on left leg of Soros)
Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!


SOROS
(Quick, gross realization, shakes leg)
Die mangy mutt will eat sheet first. (Eyes burning candles inside a nearby pentagram) On dee sekund thought, Hawkeye… (Places BROOM/PELOSI near flame - with a smile)


PELOSI
(Quickly awakens from dream state - kinda worried all of a sudden)
YOUR DARKNESS! I not only suffer from positional vertigo but my whisk-like hair is flammable!


SOROS
(Ignores pleas of PELOSI, places BROOM still closer to flame - cuz suffering of others makes him happy)
Meine Liebchen…
(Whisks and flames dance the jig, meanwhile…)


PELOSI
(Screams)
Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!


SOROS
(Trancelike, as the hot flames reflect off of his icy cold dark eyes)
What did you say, bab?


PELOSI
Ahhh! I’m melting-


TRUMP
No, no, no, that’s not your line you stupid Dem. (To himself)
Damn liberals.


SOROS
(Shoves fiery BROOM/PELOSI into BUCKEYE’S face)
How about a little fire, Buckeye?


BUCKEYE
(Trying not to laugh)
Uh, dips***! I’m a rustbelt. You can’t burn Ohio down dumba**.


 PELOSI
(To herself)
I sure hope my plastic surgeon can fix me, now.


SOROS
(Realization)
Oh, s***! Ruined the moment. Right, right, right. (Shoves BROOM/PELOSI into HAWKEYE’S face) How about a little fire, Hawkeye?


HAWKEYE
(Unfazed)
Shove all you want, you little Nazi collaborator wienerschnitzel. I have a good paying, full time job with full benefits.


SOROS
(Incredulous, jumps back in fear, drops BROOM/PELOSI onto candles in pentagram) What? How? Iowa? I thought you were a Democratic Nazi Party of America stronghold?


TRUMP
(Smiles confidently)
You thunk it all wrong, loser. Only six counties voted for your “bab” Hillary in 2016.


TOTO walks over to BROOM/PELOSI and urinates on it/her which causes an enormous explosion/fiery mess.


TRUMP
Damn, Toto. What have you been drinking?


TOTO
Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!


TRUMP
Right, right, right - the unemployed do tend to drink more, especially on Super Bowl Sunday.


BUCKEYE
Especially if they’re Falcons fans.

TOTO
Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!

HAWKEYE
You're right, Toto, it's not nice to stereotype - unless you're talking about a liberal.


PELOSI
Ahhh . . . (Resigned) s***...


TRUMP
(Studies burning BROOM/PELOSI, to SOROS)
You big d***! You’d rather have people on welfare and/or work for minimum wage than provide them with good paying, full time jobs with full benefits.


SOROS
(Backs up)
No, no, dat’s, dat’s not ALWAYS true.


HAWKEYE
(Steps forward, graciously supplies a titty twister)
It is true.


SOROS
(Falls to floor)
I’m hurting, hurting…


BUCKEYE
Ohio’s been a rust belt because of your greed-


TRUMP
And Kasich’s stupidity.


BUCKEYE
That’s besides the point. (Partakes in titty twister) A******!


SOROS
(Cries out in a deep, evil scream)
Zombie protesters! Help mich!


Throngs of ZOMBIE PROTESTERS enter the hallway, from Welfare Lifers, to Illegal Aliens shipped in from California, Illinois and Washington State, but also home grown Illegals from New York; speaking of “home grown” - let’s not forget angry pot smoking SENATOR ELIZABETH WARREN (D - Kepler 452b) and SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS (? - VT) who by now are holding hands and offering up PDAs for all to see, which kind of freaks everybody out including, momentarily anyways, the Goober Globalist, George SOROS, and the writer of this crazy schtick, Bathhouse John.


SOROS
Beat up dee enemy! Show dem anger and hatred but blame dem fur it! Burn dee place down! (Realization - like, “Oh, yeah, I f***** up.”) Ixnay on the irefay!


As the ZOMBIE PROTESTERS get riotous like a typically unfunny Amy Schumer concert (they don’t have to go to work the next day, live on welfare and SOROS pays them a daily check to boot), menace and surround our heroes, TRUMP figures out a quick solution because he read Bathhouse John’s masterpiece Zombie Protesters: A Losing Democratic Party Apocalypse


TRUMP
(To his followers)
Quick! Promise them whatever freebies you can to the greedy goons: a driver’s license, EBT, free healthcare, free clothes, free cash, even citizenship.


It works. As the ZOMBIE PROTESTERS exeunt...


SOROS
(Dismayed, dissolves under his own evil and body fat)
Wait! Don’t leave! (To Trump) You damn maverick! Look what you’ve done to my beautiful globalist plan . . . I’m irrelevant, irrelevant. Take away the freebies! Good paying, full time jobs with benefits? Who would have thunk it? Who would have thought a successful American businessman could destroy goober globalists! Oh, oh, oh . . . "It's Magic".


Nothing but a puddle of lard lies on the oak wood floors which begin to take on a tinge of white and mold. SUDDENLY - DEUS EX MACHINA intercepts the story and PUTIN arrives for the final moment.


PUTIN
(Observes the puddle of goo of what used to be SOROS, smiles, in English)
He's . . . dead! You've killed her!


TRUMP
(Observes the puddle of goo of what used to be SOROS, smiles, in Russian)
I didn't mean to kill him.


PUTIN
(In English)
Yeah, you did.


TRUMP
(In Russian)
Da!


BONUS SCENE


Our cast join in a rendition of Trump’s campaign promise ditty, “Border Wall”, based upon the Queen of Smut’s indelible rendition, “Borderline’. (See: The Original by the Original Floosy) The cast gather in a straight line, in the shape of a wall, and initially watch as Donald J. Trump, the great American hero - like Dorothy Gale of Kansas - sings his heart out. 


There’s somethin’ in the way I won against Queenie Hill,
Americans don’t want to be prisoners for Clinton’s complex EBT,
No longer running wacked,
Rather a** kickin’ smack,
Now it’s time to prosecute the clowns,
No more pray tell, just show,
Borders matter - duh!
Snowflakes - I’m not kidding 'round.


Libs - try to comprehend (comprehend),
I’ll build a real nice span,
It’s time to protect our peops.


Border wall,
Wait till you see - it’ll be built real fine,
Bad guys will no longer push lots of drugs,
Over the border wall.


Border wall,
Wait till you see - it’ll be built real fine,
Bad guys will no longer push lots of drugs,
Over the border wall,
(Border wall).


[Donald J. Trump does a little dance and the others join in...]


Concrete and rebar is making quite a tool of security,
Americans on the border can now rest assured they’ll live free,
The Dems are nothin’ but clowns trying to drag it down,
Snowflakes are frankly abound,
Stop fighting the American way, communism won’t pay,
Here’s a simple truth I need to outlay.


Whiners - die for all I care (all I care),
The voters have declared,
We're tired of the proverbial short end.


Border wall,
Wait till you see - it’ll be built real fine,
Bad guys will no longer push lots of drugs,
Over the border wall.


Border wall,
Wait till you see - it’ll be built real fine,
Bad guys will no longer push lots of drugs,
Over the border wall,
(Border wall).


[Granted, this part’s a little muddled - as if Ms. Ciccone’s got the trich.]


Savoir faire dippies,
Savoir faire dippies,
Savoir faire dippy dos.


Wait till you see -
Wait till you see -
It’ll be built real fine!


LA FIN VIGNETTE III


Unless you’re an Angry Liberal Voter, Willing Welfare Lifer, 1%er, or just plain stupid, don’t be fooled by the Democratic Nazi Party of America, or their presidential selection, Barack Obama. The globalists are running scared. Yeah, well, Donald J. Trump is no angel but his worst traits are saintly compared to the DNPA’s best. If you don’t take that to the bank, the DNPA will take you to the cleaners - and along for a Chicago-style “one way ride.”


© 2017 Vox Populi. All laughs reserved on content crafted anew. Whether you like or hate what you read, feel free to share this with your friends and enemies. The 2016 Election was personal and as an Indie Voter . . . I support President-Elect Donald J. Trump. (jvhoffmannjr.blogspot.com)